I asked a resident how she defined her success since being at MPS the past 30 days…she thought for a bit and said I got new tires, kept my job, and I am ready to move out of state.
In my mind I’m thinking: first, she was courageous enough to pick up the phone and call the crisis hotline and ask for help; second, she condensed her life into a suitcase and a back pack and fled a horrible relationship; third, managed to hold on to her beloved cat who was now also a resident of MPS.
I realized several hours after I had asked her the question how do you define your success, that for her a survivor of domestic violence, the abuse was not central to her identity. It was achieving something that created value and worth for herself…for some of us getting new tires may be a simple normal chore, yet for her it was independence, strength, an accomplishment. It was a task that, though maybe overlooked by many, kept her safe.
For a survivor, a vehicle may be their only asset, their home, their future.
Tires. Who would of thought?
Domestic Violence was not the focus of her work, rather her strengths, her assets, what was going well, and the tangible practical changes she could make while staying at MPS.